Squeezable Chicken, Sex Toy Vending Machines and Tea Shots

Korean sex toy vending machine

Yesterday we went to the Golden Temple, a famous Taoist temple made entirely of bronze.  It took about forty minutes to get there by bus, but we entertained ourselves by talking about funny Asian-isms we've seen so far.  By far the craziest was the one this guy Chris told us about:  He saw a vending machine in Korea that sold candy, chips, sex toys, cookies, and gum.  Hah!  I mean, sex toys don't seem like the kind of thing one usually buys at the spur-of-the-moment...Well maybe...could you imagine??:

Person 1: "Oh whoops, I forgot my sex toy. Oh well, no biggie. I'll just run down and grab one at the vending machine real quick."
Person 2: "Aw thanks honey.  Would you mind grabbing me some gum while you're at it?  I just ran out."

Once we arrived at the Golden Temple, we had to climb stairs up an enormous mountain to get to the entrance.  It was quite beautiful though, and at the top of the stairs they were offering people roller-coaster rides to get down again.  We had only just arrived and the steps were pretty steep, so going back down seemed a step in the wrong direction at that point.  We entered the temple grounds to find beautiful lush gardens surrounding all the buildings.  I immediately became that annoying tourist everyone hates, taking photos of things that probably seem insignificant to the people who live and work there, but to us are foreign and exciting.  Here's a small sample:

Entrance to the Golden Temple grounds

Golden Temple incense offering

People gather around the bowl that holds the hungry fish (See below)

Hungry Fish.  People throw coins into the mouth.
If it goes in, they are supposedly luckier than the rest of us.

Incense offering

The woman in the middle is the wife of an army general.  She lived on the temple grounds many years ago.

Leopards eating a pig

After we got back from the Golden Temple, I met up with everyone to go out to the Hot Pot (in Chinese called Huo Guo) dinner.

When I first heard 'Hot' pot I assumed it meant temperature.  I was half right.  Turns out it's temperature hot but it's also the spiciest thing you will ever taste.  Seriously.  Think of the spiciest dish you've ever eaten and multiply that times 100.  Ouch!

When we first walked into the restaurant I immediately felt the hot steam and oil on my skin.  It was almost hard to breath because of the strong spices permeating through the dining room.  Fortunately they took our  group to a private room.

We all sat at one huge table with a metal bowl inserted as the center piece to the table.  The waiters put the spices into the bowl, then added water.  Next they turned on a flame from under the table to get the water boiling.  By the time it was ready, the waiters had brought us various dishes of vegetables, noodles, raw meats, and other spices.  We dumped them all into the boiling water so that they could cook properly.

By far the strangest ingredient was the pureed chicken, which came in a cone-shaped plastic bag and looked suspiciously like some form of cheese wiz.  Everyone was highly amused by the concept of squeezable chicken, but when it came down to it, it tasted great!  It was super smooth so it provided a really nice texture alongside the various spongy fungi and other types of mushrooms.

There are two tiers of the pot, a small one on top and a larger one on the bottom.  The bottom one is where most people eat out of because it has all the special spices, as opposed to the top which is more plain.  I had a lot of trouble eating from the lower layer.  As soon as I tried a piece I immediately felt like my mouth was about to explode into flames!  I swear, there was a moment where I thought I was going to die...or at the least lose my sense of taste.

It was hard for everyone else too but somehow they managed to eat it.  By the end of the meal everyone was hot, tired, sweating everywhere, and their eyes were all full of tears.  This meal is definitely not for the faint of heart.  It didn't help that the fan was blowing spicy steam directly into our faces either.   My eyes hurt just thinking about it.

Sign outside the Hump Bar.
There are just way too many of these crazy Chinglish signs.
Can't get over it.

After dinner we headed over to the Hump Bar, which lived up to Steven's description.  We sat out on the patio roof outside and everyone ordered fun drinks.  Erin, one of the other students, ordered me, Pete, and this new guy Chris, drinks from the menu without telling us what they were so we would be surprised when they came.  My mystery drink turned out to be a "Ladies First," which I had previously never heard of.  It was peachy though so I didn't ask questions.

At around midnight my jet lag started to kick in again so Pete and I left to get a taxi home.  It was slightly scary because neither of us speak much Chinese, and definitely not enough to give directions.  There's a fancy hotel by our school called Kunming Hotel (Kunming Fan Dian) so we just asked the driver to take us there.  Thank god we have that hotel or we may still be looking for home.

Me, Pete, and Chris at the Hump Bar

Today I walked over to the Main Square I had heard so much about.  Though it is supposedly a completely pedestrian area, that didn't seem to stop cars from driving on the sidewalk!  I was honked at several times to get out of the way for various vehicles to come through.  So much for that.

The area is bustling with people.  It is a mix of nice high-end stores and smaller farmers-market type areas.  In the center was a fountain with fish in it.  It was surrounded by people fishing!  This city is clearly very cosmopolitan.  At times I felt like I was walking through a Chinese version of New York City.

The Main Square.  Kunming, China

For dinner Pete and I went out to a place near the school that advertised "No MSG."  We had a really difficult time with pretty much every step of the ordering process.  It's nice though, in a way, to have someone to hang out with who is just as confused as I am in that respect.

I asked the waiter to recommend something that wasn't too spicy and he pointed at the raw chicken dish.  I decided that wasn't quite my bag.  Then they brought us tea but gave us shot glasses to drink it with.  We each had at least 50 "shots."  SO XCORE!  hah.  Hanging out with him has caused me to pick up some British vernacular.  I caught myself using the word "rubbish" to describe my high school a few hours ago! Oh Bollocks!